Monty Pythons Flying Circus/The Philosopher Song

The philosophers song was a popular Monty Python song rendered ostensibly by a number of cod-Australian university lecturers. They were all called Bruce and taught at the University of Woolloomooloo. (Woolloomooloo is an inner suburb of [Sydney, Australia]?. There is actually no university there, but there is one at Bruce, a suburb of Canberra.)

The song itself makes a series of scurrilous allegations against a number of highly respected philosophers, usually with regard to their capacity or incapacity for imbibing intoxicating liquors. Victims included: Immanuel Kant, David Hume and, of course, the utilitarian? John Stuart Mill who, 'of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill'...

An excerpt:

Immanual Kant was a real pissant

Who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

Who could drink you under the table

David Hume could out-consume

Schoepenhauer and Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel!