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Wikipedia commentary/Wikipedia Anti-Rules|
This page is meant to be tongue in cheek! Wikipedia is an encyclopedia. Here is a list of Ways Not To Write Encyclopedia Articles: (see the Wikipedia FAQ, Wikipetiquette, Rules to consider, and What Wikipedia is not for more serious thoughts.) -1) Numerical lists don't need to start at one or even zero, and they don't need to restrict themselves to the integers, so add whatever you like wherever you like without adjusting the numbers. People should be thanking you for keeping them in increasing order. 0) The Cunctator's Anti-Rule: Delete or overwrite that which annoys you in any way. Especially the parts about 1) Remember: YOU ARE RIGHT. Anybody who disagrees with you or changes what you wrote is quite possibly an agent of Satan, and at the very least a Nazi. (They are probably also a bedwetter). 2) Try to start at least one entry a day on a topic you know nothing about. Failing that, at least substantially edit the work of someone else in a subject area you are unfamiliar with. 3) It is your moral responsibility to introduce pedantic (Wikipedantic?) and anal-retentive irrelevancies in /Talk discussions 4) It is your obligation to inform people of their inadequacies with regard to the English language. 5) As a corollary to 1) above, THE AUTHOR IS RIGHT and so you must NEVER change anything directly... long debates are acceptable in the /Talk section, but posting facts and corrections there is what the /Talk section is all about. 5.5) Add arbitrary horizontal rules :-) 6) There is a rule number six! This is it! 7) If the morons, imbeciles and Yahoo! are making your life a misery in the /Talk section, simply start up a /Chat? page instead. That'll teach them! 8) Rule (5) does not apply if you wipe the entire page containing months of hard work and put up your own 3-sentence stub instead 9) If the original author used American spelling, insert long passages in British spelling. And vice versa. 9.1) Also, remember that England, Britain, and Madagascar are synonymous and may be used interchangeably. 9.2) Ditto for Australia and New Zealand. 9.3) And America, USA and Canada. 10) From number (1) above. Style it's like your own thing or way to say it and because, although some other people might disagree about these things, yet it should be ovious that the author's expressing himself is an important thing to say. Just because your teacher or somebody says you don't wright it the right way, even though it's ok to write things on Wiki articles. So don't worry about it! 11) Remember, "it's" is always apostrophized, and their is no real difference between "their," "there," and "they're" - only control-freak grammar Nazi complain about such stuff. Run your article through a spellchecker, and does it complain? No! 12) As a corrolarly to rule (9) above, change every single page to use the spelling of your favourite variant of English (Or Chinese ...) (Joke! It's a joke already! Sheesh :-) ), and tell authors off who use accepted spellings different from yours. 13) Ignore all attempts at serious comments on the anti-rules page. 14) Use "*sigh*" alot when you criticise people. this makes them pay more attention to you. 14.1) Feel free to delete opinions and commentary in the Talk sections that you don't like. It's not like other people should have a right to express their opinions or anything. 16) If someone deletes something you wrote, immediately revert it back into existance. He'll delete it again, but if you just keep on restoring it you'll eventually convince him that your position was correct. Remember that the only way to win an argument is to make your opponent give up trying to argue with you, and sheer bull-headed refusal to yield is an excellent way to accomplish this. 17) Feel free to delete any of these anti-rules as well - refer to rule 15 (unless it's been deleted). 18) Remember that all people and races are fundamentally different. For example, 10 people waving banners in Kuala Lumpur indicates that Malaysia is a catastrophic hell-hole full of Islamic extremists. However, IRA terrorists bombing bridges and pubs in London is perfectly normal and the UK is still clearly a much safer place than those horrible places we see on TV. 19) /Talk pages were created solely as a forum for you to advance your own personal crusade. People who attempt to limit discussion to the actual article the /Talk page is attached to are narrowminded, biased, and clearly out to hurt you personally. 20) Use font colours and formatting to express your individuality! . We want to fill the Wikipdia with personal touches. 21) Wikipedia has a professionally paid team of people whose sole purpose in life is to copyedit., It is not you're repsonibilty to check your tpyography. 22) Use the single space indent as often as possible. People need the exercise that comes from having to use their mouse to grab the scroll bar at the bottom of the page and scroll across your fascinating commentary on whatever topic you chose to write about at that particular point in time, because after all it will be really worth it, won't it. 37) Don't worry about numbers too much. No one cares about math. :It's "maths", damn it! - See rule 9 :Ah, I just checked. I especially liked the "vice versa" part. 38) Keep in mind that this is a serious project, and your own personal sense of humour will not be tolerated here. (Wikipedia has a professionally paid team of Blue Meanies whose sole purpose in life is to ensure that things are done in the One True Wikipedia Way.) See also rule 13. (And Rule 20) 23) Appropriate links? 23.1) So much for the last clause of Rule -1... 24) Feel free to use such sources as secret Medieval orders of knights, idiosyncratic religious revelations, or supressed documents from ultrasecret espionage agencies, without giving any sort of documentation / reference to back up your claims. Hey, why shouldn't everyone believe it on your say-so? (See also rules numbers 1 and 19). 25)All articles should deliberitly start with a incompelte sentnce, with the, the article titel in italics, NOT bold with mispalced comas, and poor speling, and be difficult to edit. 26) Edit sparingly. Often, inserting the tiny but useful word "not" at the right position can achieve the intended effect quite efficiently. Minor edits like that should always be marked as such when saving. / Talk /Discuss? /Chat? /Powwow? /Palaver? /Converse? /Buzz? /Argue? /Debate? /Dispute? /Negotiate? /Revisit? |
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