Girlfriend 1.0
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it.
I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay.
GirlFriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.
I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay but I discovered that the uninstall program for GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, and there were many traces of the application still in my system.
I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions. Apparently the various versions of GirlFriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.
The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the "look and feel" rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented." Another thing that sucks -- all versions of GirlFriend continually pop-up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else.
One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus.
Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus., particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.
I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of insufficient resources.
Request for Technical Support, Incident #99021401
Last year I upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0, and I can find no documentation on several features.
For example, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialisation where it can monitor all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, freezing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
Also, at installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. In particular, MotherInLaw 55.8 has an automatic pop-up feature that I can't disable.
Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day. The features I'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 include:
Also, the new program has spawned a couple of unexpected child processes that have taken up a lot of space and resources.
I was considering going back to GirlFriend 1.0 until the upgrade is released, but there does not seem to be a "revert to previous state" feature.
Can you help me?
Registered User #10-1-13-5-19
Response to User #10-1-13-5-19, Incident #99021401
We receive many inquiries to this perceived problem. However it is almost always the result of a common error.
Many men upgrade from GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program.
This is a serious misconception.
Although Wife 1.0 includes many Utilities and Entertainment functions, Wife 1.0 is actually an entire Operating System. It has been designed run everything.
Warning! Do not try to: uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous, resulting in the loss of valuable system resources.
You can not go back to GirlFriend 1.0. Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Many have tried "workarounds". These only complicate the situation. For example, some have tried to install GirlFriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 and found the problems persist.
Others, in an ill conceived attempt, have tried run GirlFriend 2.0 in the background while Wife 1.0 is running. This almost always results in serious system conflicts, possibly leading to a non-recoverable system crash.
We recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and adjust a few user input parameters. I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). Should a GPF occur, the best course of action will be to push the Apologize Button then Reset Button as soon as lock-up occurs.
The system will run smooth as long as you provide needed maintenance time. To free up CPU time and improve performance, be certain that you have terminated any pre-existing search and scan routines.
Because each copy of Wife 1.0 is a unique and self-configuring system, no single manual will cover all enabled features. New users should first consult with those who have been running Wife 1.0 for many years before installing a copy yourself. You should consider joining one of our established local user groups to discuss your specific configuration.
Remember the installation of Wife 1.0 can allow maximum system potential, particularly when used with supplementary applications. For example, applications such as Contentment 2.5 and Reliability 6.12a have been known to max out when run with TLC 2 and Communicator 5.0.
There are no plans for upgrades; Wife 1.0 was designed to work for a lifetime. an upgrade to Wife 2.0 is possible, but you will probably lose your existing system housing.
We have heard that several users have attempted to install Mistress 1.1 as a workaround. While we do not recommend this option, we can say that in order to do this safely, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.9. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet? provider under an anonymous name.
Also, beware of installing shareware applications such as CallGirl 2.1, which may carry viruses that can affect Wife 1.0. There are a number of known viruses that can be accidentally downloaded from the UseNet?. Always be sure that any I/O transfer is conducted using a firewall.
**End of response**
Believe me, while it may take some time and work to iron the bugs out, Wife 1.0 is a good operating system. It took me a good two years to get my version to a desired performance, but now it just seems to be getting better and better. It even appears to be doing some self-maintenance, and may have developed artificial intelligence!
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